No Longer Filling Up the Space with My Funny Jokes and Witty Banter

I am officially tired of carrying the conversation.

Uh oh, that's a bold statement. There are some asterisks to this... because of course being funny and witty is part of my natural charm (humble). It would never fully fade away, especially given it's 99% of my personality.

No no no, don't worry I'm not going to change anything about myself. I would say this is rather a test... or experiment if you will. And what brings up this conversation you ask? Well of course it's none other than interactions with the male species.

Ahh yes yes, now things make more sense. See, I knew you'd start to catch on.

Now that we are up to speed let's talk about this. I would say I'm pretty decent at conversation. I am curious about people, I enjoy asking questions, I love to learn what excites them, and I also love to listen when they need it. I'd say that's a pretty standard level of social skills. Or so you would think.

I have spoken with many women in my life and we are finding that this apparently isn't standard... when it comes to finding a romantic partner. We can only use the excuse that it's our "drop dead good looks that's leaving him speechless" for so long. At some point, you'd think he'd be curious to ask any type of follow up question.

Now now, gentlemen, before you start getting pissed at me - you know if you aren't this type of guy. Let's be very clear I have amazing men in my life (father, uncles, brother-in-law, friends) who make me feel very seen and supported. These are not the men I am talking about.

I am talking about the situations where 2 hours has gone by and I know that this man has 3 siblings, he broke his right wrist when he was in the 7th grade, he has dreams and aspirations of finding the best sushi in the city of Los Angeles, and his mom's favorite scent is that of a jade flower.

And what does he know about me? Probably that I'm vegan and live in Glendale. And that's only because I had to tell him that when he made the dinner reservation.

(Ok hopefully it's not that bad. I'm being dramatic to make a point.)

Too many times now I have seen different men write and say they just want a "yapper". What do you mean by this Joe? Is this just some cop out because if I'm not yapping away you don't know how to hold a conversation? It's very scorpio of me to want to test a man like this, but damnit, I have to test him. I just need to see he's at least capable of leading. After a couple of times of seeing that, I'm sure I'll naturally start to chat away. I just need to know there's at least a curiosity to get to know me.

At the end of the day, that's it. Leadership. Cuz baby... I lead everything. All day long. (You can refer back to my last blog post on this topic.) It would nice if in the beginning, I felt like I could trust you to take some things off my hands.

So where does this leave me? Exactly to my first point. I am going to withhold my charm and wit until I feel he is worthy of it. I'm tired of laughing at my own jokes. If there is silence, I'm no longer going to feel the responsibility to always be the one to fill it. It's all about balance. And it's your turn to ask a question.